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Pushing Edges

publication date: Mar 5, 2010
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author/source: Justin Lake K1685
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Pushing Edges- Befriending the Rain

by Kamana student Justin Lake

There have been many edges that I have faced in my return journey to Nature. Mosquito has been one of them. Fortunately there are not a whole lot of them here in the Pacific Northwest. When they do come I ask them sincerely to go easy on me. One at a time I don’t mind. I see it as a little gift of my blood that may become a meal to a Bat or Songbird. With this mindset I feel a sense of cooperation with Mosquito that makes them much more tolerable. Besides, if I let them bite me they eventually leave and if I swat them away they keep coming back to bite again and again. I don’t know if I would feel this way if I lived in Minnesota.

Once while hitchhiking through Minnesota my partner Ash and I tried sleeping near Leech Lake on the Ojibwa Reservation. With no tent, we were swarmed by such thick clouds of Mosquitoes they drove us running out of the woods and down the road to a store to buy some repellent. When I visit Michigan, I’ve learned it helps to cover myself with mud while in the woods on a hot summer day. This keeps the Mosquitoes and Horseflies away and prevents sunburn too.

Another edge that I continue to face is cold. This one is a little counter-intuitive. Rather than dress warm, I decided to wear less clothing. I want to be comfortable in one-fewer layers than I’d like to be wearing. “Maybe if I don’t separate my self from the cold I will learn to enjoy it,” I thought. It took a while but eventually I got to be comfortable in just a wool sweater and wool pants in winter.

Cold water has always enticed me too. I remember as a kid falling through the ice many times on Lake Huron. My clothes would freeze but otherwise I’d still be out there playing knowing that I had a warm place to go home to. That is important, having a place to get warm or a campfire near by. Often I have felt drawn to submerge myself in the frigid waters of lakes, streams, or the Pacific Ocean. To me it feels as though I am touching the Spirit of that place when I stand there in the cold water and slip under. Maybe it just brings me to a very present state in that moment. It always feels good.

The other day I was faced with a new edge at my sit spot. I had a cold, but still decided to go out into the rain and sit there anyway. It was some time in the afternoon and it had been raining for days. My sit spot, under the protective branches of a huge Spruce, was soaked. I don’t have any rain gear; finding a couple layers of wool and a tweed hat to suit me just fine. I sat down and my butt got soaked. Then the drips off the trunk started saturating my shirt and hat in no time. What was worse is that I was bored. There were no magical coyote encounters or amazing bird song, not a sound except rain. My Thanksgiving Address felt like a recital. Then for some reason my mindset shifted. I saw that I was facing an edge. No, two edges: the dampness from the rain and also boredom.

Settling in I entered my sense meditation, expanding my vision to see every raindrop at once, listening to every drop on the leaves, and relaxing to feel comfortable with the wetness. My mind was looking for some grand Nature experience and I could feel an internal argument going on: "Maybe you should go for a wander." That was cut short by a deeper feeling to stay present. "Maybe you should…" interrupted by a feeling to just accept what was there right now.

I felt a release and finally my mind quieted. My senses started to take on a whole new perspective. I started to see everything in patterns and with a clarity that I rarely feel. The rain suddenly felt beautiful. I could feel the dampness down to my bones but it felt good. I don’t know how long I sat there but when I finally got up to walk around I was smiling. Then a flock of Kinglets flew in and landed all around me. They were singing their sweet song and were so close I could have touched them. I smiled even more and enjoyed the rain with these fine little songbirds.

I want to tell you a little about my writing style. I capitalize the first letter when referring to the
various Nations of the Natural World. You will see that Coyote and Spruce are like People to me. They are like Brothers and Sisters to me and to show respect I capitalize their names. I want my readers to feel
that they are people just as much as we are people.

3 Comments Posted Leave a comment

Kate Guenther (Churchville)
Thank you for sharing in detail your experience of working through these common edges--wet, boredom and mosquitos. I especially liked that your shared your internal dilemma - "maybe I should wander..." I think this exact scenario played out for me this week. Next time I hit an edge, I'll keep in mind that you are working through yours as well. "If one person can do it, another person can do it."
Justin Lake (Chimacum)
Reading this again I feel there are a couple things to add.

For one, I don't always force these edges. Sometimes the mosquitoes are just too much, like when I visited Minnesota. I noticed though that if I let the mosquito do what it came to do, and then leave with a full red belly, for some reason the bite will not itch as much as when I interrupt them.

About the cold. Over time, especially in my youth, I learned to go shirtless in the rain and barefoot through the winter. But I noticed that sometimes I would not want to go outside because it was too cold to go barefoot! If it is just too cold, I'll were as many layers as it takes to get me out there. Same with the rain.

I've lived mostly outside for many years and just wanted to share some tips on how I came to feel comfortable in these conditions. I hope this is helpful for those facing these edges at your Secret Spot.
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